The ugly truth

Mike Chadway: Rule #4: Never talk about your problems 'cause men don't really listen or care. 
Abby Richter: Some men care! 
Mike Chadway: No, some men pretend to care. When we ask "how you're doing" it's just guy code for "let me stick my dick in your ass". 
Abby Richter: OOH! 
Mike Chadway: I know you think Colin is above it but trust me he's a guy. He's even remotely into you he's probably thought about each of your orifices at least ten times. 
Abby Richter: I love how you assume all men are perverse as you are! 
Mike Chadway: Oh, I don't assume. I know. 






Mike: Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who fit the criteria, don't kid yourselves. Cuz they're not sleeping with you, they're sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices. Money over substance, looks over soul, polished over principles. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials.




Mike Chadway: [to Abby, on how to attract Colin] You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.